- Be honest. Be self-deprecating. If you try to build up a lofty reputation, it will cause stress and won’t be sustainable.
- Be vulnerable (with the right people). Talk about your fears, failures, weaknesses, problems, needs, what you’re ashamed of. Talking about things makes them go away. “Being strong” doesn’t work.
- Sad is okay. People feel sad, either some of the time, or much of it, depending on their personality type and circumstances. There’s nothing wrong with this, nor anything wrong with showing it. It is wrong to turn it into anger, or take it out on others.
- Look on the bright side. Play Pollyanna’s “glad game.” There are always things to be happy about.
- Keep a Joys Journal!
- Don’t bottle things up, which leads to illness. Let out both your positive and your negative emotions, in a way that hurts others as little as possible. Some people have a harder time expressing love, and others anger. A therapist once told me that some people have a hard time expressing tenderness, and others, anger.
- That being said, the best way to deal with anger is not “pounding a pillow” or venting, which tends to magnify it; but “reframing”: trying to look at things in another way that will reduce your anger.
- Depression often means just that you need to rest (see my writing on depression). When depressed, give yourself a day to fully explore the dark and painful side of life. Then the next day, or when ready, pick yourself up and move forward.
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Daria Doering 
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