BOYNESS OF MY LIFE
or A MOTHER’S TRIBUTE TO HER HUSBAND AND SONS
I complain about them,
Go through pain over them,
Raise Cain about them …
Even go insane over them.
But really, I feel lucky
For the boyness of my life.
Our two muscle-y sons
And their big boy dad.
My own family was three girls.
My mother’s family was three girls.
My father’s family was him and a girl.
That’s what was wrong – not enough boys!
They only care about sports,
They don’t like to clean,
They don’t read enough,
They don’t like poetry.
But I feel blessed
To be around this other reality –
This subgroup of our family:
The “guy family unit.”
They watch war movies, gangster movies,
Jackass movies, perverted family TV shows.
They like Dave Chappel and the comedy channel,
They watch Happy Gilmore over and over.
They have their collections
Of air soft guns, warrior costumes,
Knives, machetes, and Samurai swords
Sweaty, stinky hockey gear galore.
They like to eat, eat, eat …
Lots of meat, meat, meat …and potatoes.
Though they do like salad,
And usually shun sweets.
Their musical taste is actually pretty good.
Though Nick plays heavy metal music with friends,
And screaming singers.
While Jake plays sublime piano pieces.
They love hockey, lacrosse,
Football, basketball,
Biking, skating, swimming,
Really, anything with a ball, stick, or weights.
In the car, they let out a loud yell
That almost causes me to crash.
But invariably, they’re only going ga-ga
Over some type of car they’ve spotted.
They like to roam around at night,
They go wild if they’re caged.
They engage in male prowling behavior,
And eat their prey at the donut shop.
But really,
They’re pretty nice to us girls.
And thank God I have a
“girl family unit” with my daughter.
Daria Doering 
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