Daria Doering

Mike recently asked me if I’d like some wind chimes. I said – Yes! – with great enthusiasm. I’ve actually wanted some really nice wind chimes for a long time. I mentioned to him that you can get wind chimes that have really long pipes and sound like Winchester Cathedral in London … that’s been my dream!

A couple of weeks later he showed up with wind chimes, and my heart sank. They were made of shell material in turquoise. I thought – he must have felt sorry for some merchant in Ocean Beach, and bought them. I really try to “receive graciously,” as one of my gurus says, and not to insult anyone who gives me a gift, especially not my beloved husband. But I was floored by these wind chimes.

He ended up taking them from me and hanging them on our front porch. It turned out they also made a hideous clacking sound. The next day I was trying to talk with him about something serious. It was a windy day and the chimes were clacking furiously. I finally snapped and yelled at him, “I’m sorry but I can’t stand those wind chimes. I can’t even think with them making that noise! I need them taken down, now!” He took them down, looking crestfallen.

Later I discovered he had hung them off a tree in our side yard. I actually didn’t mind the sound coming from that direction, for some reason. But then I realized they were very close to our neighbors, and the chimes might drive them crazy! So I told Mike they needed to come down, so as not to disturb the neighbors. He took them down and told me he had thrown them into the trash.

Now I really felt bad. I fished the wind chimes out of the huge trash can, having to turn it on its side to get to them at the bottom. It turned out he had thrown them on top of a bunch of wood ash, so now they were covered with ashes. I took them into the house to spray them off in the shower.

I decided to put them in the middle of the back yard, hanging from our hammock, equidistant between our two side neighbors, hoping they would not disturb either of them. I realized that the next rain would give them a shower, so I didn’t bother washing off the ashes.

A couple of nights later, I awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of the wind chimes clacking. Now I started worrying about our neighbors across the ally, one of whom can be pretty particular about things. The sound was keeping me awake, and I figured it would disturb others as well. So I dragged myself out of bed at 2 am, and went into the backyard to retrieve the wind chimes. As I sleep-walked back to the bedroom through the kitchen, I hung them on the first thing I noticed – a hook that I hang aprons on.

Some time later … The amazing thing is that now, whenever anyone walks from the kitchen to the pantry, which happens all day long, you almost can’t help brushing against the aprons and wind chimes, and they emit a pleasant tinkle. I have never heard of indoor wind chimes, but that’s what we now have! They have finally found their place

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